My love affair/hate on with blogs and Social Media.

February 17th, 2009

Or How Facebook and Twitter hijacked my post.

So here I am writing a blog entry.

Blog entry. Blog entry. Blog entry.

I make fun because earlier this week I’d decided to ditch the blog all together due to the very fact that I always felt like I needed to be writing a blog entry.

I’ve really been sort of re-examining my whole online agenda.

I started putting stuff I wrote up on the Internet way back before the word ‘blog’ had even come about. Not trying to cop any sort of street cred here, just a fact. I used to do it back when you actually had to load a whole new HTML page up for each of your entries, and if you were really a glutton for punishment (or a total loser with loads of free time – comments to yourself), you’d build an archives section to chronicle your mediocrity. This was back when WebCrawler was the browser du jour on the interweb. Remember that?

I started writing stuff to complain. Cause I was pissed off about stuff and I thought even though no one wanted to hear my shit in person, for some reason, everyone on the Internet would. It’s always been a place to vent. To be politically incorrect under the guise of ‘freedom of speech’ and the ‘it’s my blog and I’ll offend who I want to’ mentality. Anarchy rules. 

But really, after awhile, you can only be mad at so much stuff. That and EVERYONE ELSE on the planet eventually got a blog and the singular uniqueness of it went away.

Now I’m all into the Social Media thing. The twitter, the Facebook (which I swore up and down I’d never use), flickr, etc. etc.

It’s a double edged sword the The Social Media (and blog) thing. At some point it becomes kind of a drag. People start to make certain assumptions or try and read into your statements and statuses. It’s a bit unnerving. You start to wonder if you should censor yourself because your boss/parents/significant other/sibling/best friend/local supermarket clerk might be reading. That’s when you really know you’re losing your mind – when you start to think “what if some random person you meet in a bar reads this? What if I offend them?” As if your blog has this ‘massive’ reach and audience. Meanwhile way back in your archives, your second post was entitled “Why I Hate The World: A treatise on how everyone but me is a complete idiot.” That was back when you were hard. Back before you had mandatory sensitivity awareness training at work. Weren’t too concerned about these offensive issues then, were you?

It’s a hard thing when you start to realize just who IS reading your stuff and the ramifications that opening your filthy mouth on the interweb can have. I’ll not lie to you. I have censored what I write here at various times for various reasons and invariably, every time, after the fact, I’ve felt like a total ass. No one knows I was an ass, but I do, and I have to live with my ass-self and it’s not much fun. When I censor what I write – for me – it pretty much goes against all the reasoning I had for starting to write in the first place. I justify it by saying things like “well it’s better than not having written at all” or “at least you’re keeping in touch with everyone”. Load. Of. Crap.

I feel like a boss/relative/friend/dog washer should accept me for who I am. Sure they can disagree with my opinion, or perhaps think I use ‘fuck’ too often, but I’d like to think that we all could be that way. The reality – we all know – is that it’s not. Unfortunately, bosses take none to kindly to tales of ‘lost weekends filled with bong hits and loose women’ or blog posts with titles like “How to stick it to the man: Making the most of your fake sick day”. Those are usually much more interesting reading to most folks though vs. “Did some yardwork this weekend…”

I pretty much fluctuate daily between being all over the (Social Media) sites to pulling the plug on all of it. Sometimes I think it’s a waste of my time. I feel a bit guilty as it is a way to stay in touch with far off family members and friends, but we all seem to get so caught up in it we forget there was a time (only maybe 5/6 years ago?) when we managed without all this crap.

I know, I’m complaining yet again. But it IS my blog after all, and your the sucker reading it. Offended?

It’s become cliche, the argument that we’ve all ‘lost touch with our real-world relationships’, forsaken them for the online ones. Really, most the people I interact with in Social Media circles are within my geographic proximity. I seek them out that way. I figure the prospect of actually ‘meeting in person’ at some point is that much more interesting. I really don’t have a whole lot of interest in conversation with someone from Utah. I mean, I’m sure we could find something to talk about but…

Just today I went through my Facebook friends list and dumped a bunch of people that I hadn’t talked to since we ‘friended’. I mean, really, what’s the point? These are people that – were it not for Facebook – the chances of me ever talking to again were pretty much nil. Was my life that empty without them? And once we found each other, were we so ecstatic that we corresponded regularly, sharing intimate details of our lives and providing invaluable inspiration for each other? No. We sat and lurked and checked each other’s pages for details and goings on without ever having to interact on even on the most elementary level. If you were sitting, watching the details of someone’s life on a day-to-day basis from, say, your car in front of their house – it ain’t called being ‘Friends’. It’s something else all together.

It started with a generic message. “So and so has sent you added you as a friend”.You know, in Facebook, when you add that long, lost buddy that you’ve missed, it gives you the option to send a personalized message at the same time. Most of the people that have friended me have neglected to utilize this feature (hence some were dumped), and really after they friended me (the social equivalent of ‘tagging’ you with a radio collar) that was the last I heard from them, save bullshit statuses and inane fucking Facebook games and ‘Gifts’.

I mean, what does it say about you when you:

1. Friend someone.
2. Don’t have the common decency or balls to actually write anything personal.
3. Never correspond directly.
4. ‘Gift’ the person with a cyber-yellow raincoat.

 What the fuck does that mean?

I guess I’ll let it go for now. I mean the reality is that I’m on all these sites and apps and I do enjoy most of the interactions with folks I’ve found, but aspects of it still completely astound me.

For all it’s faults, I still think overall that Social Media is a good thing. It has allowed me to ‘met’ people that I probably otherwise wouldn’t have, who probably wouldn’t even have given me the time of day in the real world. However, when presented with a few witticisms and a profile that I’ve padded with some inaccuracies and half-truths, I seem all that much more appealing in the on-line forum. Thanks to spell check, an online thesaurus and outright plagiarism, I can come across as a highly developed, very erudite individual – not the backcountry hick living in the woods that I really am. Ah the marvel of modern technology!

One of the people I’ve duped into belief of my charade is a woman I’m ’friends’ with on twitter. Aside from producing some fantastic artwork, she’s intelligent, well spoken and extremely interesting all the time. ‘Course maybe she has a thesaurus too. @Venison (such a great word, the sound of it combined with what it represents and the stigmas attached illicit so many different feelings/responses), said something the other day that I thought hit the nail on the head.  ”These “develop a brand” people are the same ones who took something as interesting as blogging, and RUINED it with crap.” 

Blogs used to be about people bitching. People arguing. People emoting. At the very least interesting discourse. Now it seems they’re about driving traffic. Building the brand. Click thru. ROI. Big companies run by old men trying to get a foothold of credibility with a sector that in the past has done nothing but use the medium to speak to what’s wrong with these very companies.

Really this is part of my contention with Social Media. The co-opting of it by companies, corporations, marketers – what-have-you - has essentially negated the very essence of what it once was. It truly has become ‘new media’ in the sense that like all the previous forms of media (radio, tv, etc.), it started out as one thing and has morphed into something else. Someone, somewhere said – hey, we can use this to make a buck. It was all downhill from there. What bothers me as well is that you’ll find a lot of Social Media advocates out there, blasting out hundreds of tweets a day about how great it all is and the subtext is that they’re also sending out links to whatever it is they’re shilling. Even if they’re not selling anything, they’re selling themselves. The person AS brand. 17,000 followers, but really not that much interesting to say (I know, I’ve followed some of ‘em). It’s the Internet equivalent of high school. People are following them, because they want OTHER people to see that they are following them. Social Media cred by association. Virtual 6 degrees of @KevinBacon.

Maybe it was an inevitability. I mean, all of us could only tweet about this morning’s coffee and our smelly co-workers for so long, but to me at least it seemed a little more genuine. It was truly more ‘conversational’. I sign on each morning and chat with the same people. It’s like they’re co-workers, sorta.

Now it’s like striking up a conversation with someone, then having another someone bust in and try and sell you web development just cause he heard the two of you talking about the Internet (of course you were talking about Internet porn, but he doesn’t get that). It’s made the Social Media world the equivalent of the hotel bar at an insurance convention.

Perhaps I’m just bitter ’cause I don’t have many followers. I have follower envy. Does Cialis work for that?

I think I’m just lamenting the transition from one era to the next. Social Media is exciting, yes, and the potential and prospects are interesting. Still, part of me will always be fond of the ‘early days’ of Social Media when it was more about people and less about product. Of course I’m sure people said this about Apple, too.

Remember AOL? Remember when it first came out and everyone would troll the chat rooms talking to anonymous folk? The times you’d go in the lesbian chat room and feign sensitivity to try and score bi-sexual chicks? Don’t scowl at me. Yeah, like me and my friends were the only ones that did it. Man up and admit it. Somewhere AOL lost sight. They inundated you with free sign up cd-roms every fucking week (at least we had coasters) and endless new versions until finally someone said enough and came up with something else. In essence, Social Media is the something else. Twitter is like a big chat room, only there’s no set topic and you get to pick who can/can’t come into yours.

Oh Social Media, how I love to follow you. Where you’re going I don’t know, but I’m ready. Even though I trash talk you now, I know something new and fun will be coming around the bend and I’m in for the long haul. Besides, I’ve paid up the hosting for my blog ’till the end of the year anyway.

And, hey, can we stop off on the way in the lesbian chat rooms?

: : : :

Funny. When I started out this post I was gonna blather for like a paragraph about the blog and then get on to the inane, matter of fact stuff. Got a little carried away.

Other than my Social (Media) Issues as outlined above, things at the Ranch are well. Our dishwasher has died, so now we’ll have to hire someone else to do that, let the interview process begin.

I’ve started trying to take better care of myself. Eating less crap, exercising every day. Lyn is too. We’re doing good, feeling good. I think, time/logistics permitting, I may even try and enter some mountain bike races this season. Of course now that I’ve actually put it in writing, all hell will break loose.

We’ll be travelling to Halifax in March to get Colin and Olivia’s US paperwork/passports and I’ve also been asked by Goose Lane author/Dal Prof Darryl Whetter to give a presentation on Graphic Design to his Creative Process class. I’ll get to use visuals and PowerPoint and everything – I just need to figure out what the hell I’m doing between now and then so I can try and explain it accurately. I’m not sure if I’m going to divulge to them my secret ‘throw darts at the wall’ method for selecting stock art, or not. Trade secret.

Womanized.

January 27th, 2009

I tell you what, I’m tired of women.

I live with 4 of ‘em and I work with 7.

Well ok, 3 of the 4 I live with are ‘women-in-training’, but they already exhibit some behaviours of their full-grown counterparts.

I’ve had the unique experience of working both sides of the coin. My old office was all dudes – 5 guys – one woman. Here it’s me and 7 women. I’ve seen it both ways. If I had to pick one, I’d go with the ‘all dude’ (keep your gay jokes and snickers to yourself or you’ll be sent to the principals office) scenario. Perhaps it’s a no-brainer it makes sense due to ‘comfort-level’ or ‘familiarity’, but I like to think I’ve tried to be objective – well, as objective as a guy in this situation can be.

I’m not going to turn this into a ‘why one is better than the other’ arguement. There is – I think – no ‘better’. They are just different. Men and women interact differently, decision-make differently, manage stress differently both when dealing with members of the same sex and the opposite. There are exceptions to the rule in both genders, but en masse, certain behaviour and characteristics prevail in each.

I’ll repeat again: there is no better. If you write and tell me I’m being sexist, you’re an idiot, so please, don’t waste our time.

Time-wastage. Who’s a bigger waster of time, women or men? You ponder that. I like to think I have more insight than some on the matter, but I’m going to keep it to myself. I’m no expert, all I have is personal experience.

So to sum up, I’ve had my fill of ‘em – the women. I’m sure it will pass, and in a bit, I’ll be all back to ‘everybody playing nice’ again, but for now, bah.

Oh, and tv. Sick to death of the goddamn tv. Another matter all together. It’s amazing how the more content is generated for it, the less value I see in it.

Old geezer-itis again…now GET OFF MY LAWN you pesky kids!

Arguing about music.

January 15th, 2009

I have a buddy that I frequently argue with about music via instant messaging. He chooses to remain nameless for whatever reasons. Regardless, our arguements always tend to have somewhat the same undercurrent. Though we often discuss/debate specific artists, underlying that is always the fundamental difference in the way we see music. His contention is that regardless of popular opinion, there is a way to quantify what is ‘good’. A concrete definition of a ‘good’ song. You can not like a particular artist, but still concede that they’ve written a good song, or a well crafted piece of music. In addition his standpoint is that if there’s these artists – who are by this definition – the ‘best’ at their genre/type of music, it’s a waste of time to listen to anyone else who isn’t up to the same standard.

While I agree with him that you can not really like something but give it kudos for craftsmanship or quality of musicianship, I think that what is ‘good’ or the ‘best’ is an entirely listener-specific entity. One man’s ‘best’ is another man’s .99 bin special. Each person experiences music individually, and though sales and or critical acclaim can be a guide towards what may or may not be something you would dig, really it comes down to what moves you when you’re sitting in the dark with the headphones on. I’d even argue that the ‘best’ can vary from day to day depending on the headspace you’re in at the time. Obviously in many cases, my ‘best’ sure as hell ain’t his and vice-versa.

At the risk of boring you all (which I’m sure, some of you it will), here’s a chunk of a recent debate. I post it not for gratuitous attention, but because I find it an interesting arguement, one that really – to me – addresses one of the fundamental issues about music and how we experience/perceive it.

To preface this particular dispute, I was talking to him about the recent Constantines record as well as The Weakerthans, who – though I’ve only just discovered – actually put out some of their most well known work back in 2007 or so.

Buddy of buKit: ok, song one Weakerthans…on their myspace…it’s a little too bee-bop for me…
buKit: Yeah. Not really ‘I’m fixin’ to open a vein’ enough for you.
Buddy of buKit: ‘Tis true…this sound is so prominent these days…
buKit: Is that new stuff you’re listening to?
Buddy of buKit: Some of it is good some of it just sounds all the same…
buKit: Yeah, but the Weakerthans were big  a few years ago
Bob: Don’t talk to me about new stuff…
buKit: BEFORE that sound
Bob: There’s lots of stuff I listen to that’s new
Well THAT sound’s been around for about 5 years…
Ok yeah, I can’t do it…it’s the guy’s voice…and the music is way too bee boppy…
buKit: Screw you man. you’re impossible.
I’m swearing off telling you about bands. ‘Tis a drag.
Go listen to Bob van Waits. [note: Bob's a big endorser of Bob Dylan, Townes Van Zandt, and Tom Waits. -buKit]
This Weakerthans album (Left and Leaving) is great.
Bob: haha
And I’m not impossible…I have a discerning taste in music…Don’t get me going on this again…opinion doesn’t come into play for me…Prince…I don’t listen to…but I can’t deny that he’s super-talented and has some killer tunes…
Weakerthans?…Not horrible…but there’s a lot of other bands that blow them out of the water…so why listen to them???
buKit: Bah. Double BAH.
Bob: And there’s a million bands that sound just like this…so why not try to find and listen to the best???
I agree we’ll never agree…
Go listen to your Matthew Good and Matthew Sweet.
buKit: I wash my hands of you. You can’t be helped.
Bob: haha
buKit: Yeah, this Weakerthans is good. You’re living in denial.
Bob: Come on now…I think I have my ear a bit closer to the ground than you….every single song is bee-boppy and the dude’s voice is so annoying…
buKit: Why do you have your ear closer to the ground?
Bob: I think I have you beat you in the music exposure department…
buKit: Constanines record was picked as best of 2008 – you’d never heard it.
Bob: You’re going to trust a “best of” list as opposed to your own ears??…You’re not helping your argument by saying things Like that…
buKit: No, I’m just saying your ear is to your ass…
Bob: I have listened to the Constantines before…No new tracks…but their last album I have heard…
buKit: You say you wouldn’t listen to stuff that isn’t ‘the best’…this is the perpetual arguement we have. There IS no ‘best’. ‘Best’ depends on the listener’s preferences.
Bob: Not true…sorry….like I said, I can say something is good but not like it…the Weakerthans is sub par…
buKit: That’s a copout…
Bob: 50 other bands that are better…so again…why listen to sub par…?
buKit: I can say Dylan’s good. Just cause he’s been around forever and everyone else thinks he’s good. Doesn’t mean I know shit about music.
Because, even if it is ’sub par’, it’s different, and while it may lack in some areas, it may excell in others.
There’s no ‘best’ r & b band. No ‘best’ blues band, etc…etc…
Based on what you’re saying, for every genre of music, you should be able to tell me the ‘best’ artist in that genre, regardless of whether you like it or not, correct?
Bob: You can’t say there’s one best…but there’s always a few that do it way better than everyone else…
Pick a genre…
buKit: So who’s the best teeny bopper/top 40 band?
Bob: You’re talking current??…
buKit: I’m talking Aguiliera, Backstreet, Nsync…
Bob: Of course you’d pick that genre and try to stump me…Christina Aguilera kicks ass if you ask me…
buKit: See, even genres get broken into ‘time’…you mean ‘of all time’? current? 80’s?
Bob: I think Justin Timberlake is super-talented…
buKit: You maybe can tell me what good folk is but I’d argue you don’t know jack about bubblegum pop.
Justin? Jesus man, I don’t think he even writes his own tunes.
Bob: Well you’re trying to stump for the purpose of stumping me….I don’t like that kind of music so I’m not as knowledgable about it as say rock music…
buKit: He’s a fucking ENTERTAINER not a musician.
Bob: Well you’re asking me to tell you who I think is good in the teeny bopper genre…..you’re asking a lot there…there’s not much substance to any of those people
None of them write their own songs…not in that genre anyway
That genre is about entertainment…it’s not about MUSIC.
The Weakerthans are about music…
Justin Timberlake is about making shitloads of dough, but he’s kick ass in the entertainment dept.
I just don’t understand why one as knowledgable as yourself…and who’s obviously into music wouldn’t dig a little deeper…
buKit: That’s the point. Someone who listens to that teenbopper shit would have a much better handle on what’s good and not within that genre. There are acts that do their own stuff and are probably better, in context of the genre – than the rest of ‘em.
Go deeper?
Deeper than what?
Bob: The Weakerthans for one…
buKit: I don’t like the teenybopper shit, so I don’t listen to it. Just ’cause I don’t listen to it means its not good?
Bob: Green day??…Why do you like Green Day?…
buKit: I like Green Day cause it get’s me pumped. I like the production. I like the riffs, the lyrics, the imagery.
Bob: Why not listen to The Clash then…
buKit: I’m not saying they’re virtuosos, but I like it. To ME it’s GOOD.
Bob: Yes, and you’re entitled to that…
buKit: The Clash doesn’t sound anything like Green Day.
Bob: That’s awesome that you listen to them and love them…
buKit: For one, The Clash sounds like they recorded in a garage.
Bob: But that’s not what I’m talking about….I’m talking about the big picture…In the big picture Green Day is a spec of dust…
buKit: If I want to go old school punk and the DIY sound, sure. The Clash is the thing. If I want to hear a Marshall loud enough I feel like I can see the tubes heating up through the speaker, The Clash don’t do it for me.
Bob: So you like the sound…where I like the song…
I don’t give two fucks what it sounds like…is the song good…that’s what I’m after…
The song…the writing…the lyrics…the song structure…
The song the song the song
buKit: Sometimes I like either/or. Depends on my mood. Sometimes I don’t feel like listening to Townes about to put the gun in his mouth. Brings me down. Sometimes it’s alright.
What you’re saying is Green Day has no good SONGS and I think that’s bullshit. They do, just not songs you want to hear.
Bob: Hey I do think Green Day has some decent songs…I didn’t say they didn’t
buKit: I mean, what are you using to judge a song? What makes it good. Does it have to be in G? Does it have to make you cry? Does it have to have a socio-political reference in it? Does it have to have at least 5 chords? What I’m saying is there’s no definitive way to quantify a good song. You can’t say it has to have A, B, C, D etc. and just check ‘em off.
Bob: Umm…use your ears…??…That might be a good start…you say it’s all subjective. But in every other field there are professionals…are there not?…so I’m a professional judge of music….
One lawyer is better than another lawyer…or is that subjective too…
buKit: Holy shit.
Bob: One lawyer loses all his cases and one lawyer wins them all…is one bette than the other?…you say no…
Well I have to disagree
buKit: Did you just say you’re a professional jusge of music? What the hell makes you a professional? Just cause you listen to a lot?
Bob: Yes…that’s exactly it…in other fields that would be called “experience”…
I have more “experience” listening to songs than the Average Joe…
buKit: Oh Christ. And what about the other people that have listened to more than you that you disagree with. What are they? Who’s the ‘Average Joe’?
How much music does he listen to?
How much do you?
Bob: I have yet to come across anyone that listens to more music than I…
buKit: Am I a Joe?
Well jesus man. If you’re such a ‘music pro’, why isn’t eveyone lined up at the door to hear the good word?
Bob: Well, for the very reason you’re giving me flak…
Can’t I be more qualified to judge something than someone else?…
Forget about music for a second…
buKit: No one listens to more music than you, but you admited you don’t know jack about the bubblegum pop. If you were truly all about being an all knowing music pro, wouldn’t you have to at least give it cursory listens?
Bob: If I looked at 50,000 sculptures…and you looked at only 50…don’t you think i would be more qualified to judge a sculpting contest than yourself?
I have given bubble gum curiosity listens…
buKit: Yes, and I see where you’re going with that. But even if you looked at 50,000 sculptures, there’s still someone that looked at 3x that.
Bob: And I occasionaly still do listen to things I would not normally listen to
I’m not saying I’m the be all and end all…not what I’m saying at all…this all stemmed from the Weakerthans…and I’m saying why listen to them when you can listen to something that’s better…?
buKit: And I dare say with the internet and access to music with iPods and crap now, the ‘Average Joe’ listens to a shitload more music than he used to.
Bob: I’ve heard better than the Weakerthans…that’s it…
buKit: So have I. But I still like ‘em. I like what they’re doing. I just don’t take this ‘all or nothing’ approach that you do.
Bob: Ahh…true the Average Joe does listen to more music….but less quality music…
The market is saturated with so much music now that you have to be weary to settle…and this is the whole point ot this convesation
buKit: Nah. I think the point is that you argue that there’s a concrete way to way to specify what’s GOOD. And I say that every person you ask will give you a different answer.
Bob: I don’t disagree with that…everyone will give you a different answer…
buKit: Oh, and apparently you think you know what’s good….
Bob: I’m not saying I’ve heard everything….but is the person that listens to Timberlake more qualified than me to say what’s good or what’s not??…I think not
buKit: He is in the realm that Timberlake plays in…

After that it pretty much deteriorated into me trying to convince him to let me post this. There. Posted.

Reason #2,347.

January 13th, 2009

“Why did you move back to Canada?”

I get asked this alot.

My buddy Ryan said the other day that we should go play hockey sometime at lunch at the park up the street.

“There’s ice right up the street?” I said, incredulous.

“Yeah.” He tells me. “At the park.”

Today we went 2 blocks from my office and pulled up to a huge (4 tennis courts), near perfect sheet of ice. Apparently the City of Fredericton maintains the ice, flooding it every night and plowing it when it snows.

“Holy shit!” I says to him. “This is just HERE?! All the time?”

“Yeah.” He says nonchalantly. “There’s a couple other spots in parks around the city too.”

“And THEY clean and flood it all the time? Just like that…” I said in amazement.

We then proceeded to spend our lunch hour playing shinny hockey with the 6 other dudes who just happened to show up.

THAT is why I moved back to Canada.

Frozen in (musical) time.

January 6th, 2009

Those of you who know what a music geek I am will know how much it pains me to say so, but this weekend I packed up my CDs (all 1000+ of them) into boxes and shuffled them off to the basement in favour of more space in the living room for things like dump trucks, polly pockets and baby swings. While this is only temporary (the CDs will reappear in the finished basement) and I’ve got tons of music on my computer – ’tis a sad state of affairs, none-the-less.

My car has always been the proving ground of music for me. Even in the days of trying to drive less – riding the bike to work – I still end up spending alot of time in the car and it’s the only place I can really take music in. Though I listen to music on the bike to work on the iPod, it’s hard to really appreciate the tunes when your attention is focused mostly on dodging 2 ton death machines piloted by half-asleep morons. I mean, I’m one of those sometimes, but allow me to be hypocritical for one moment – it makes for more interesting reading.

I have always cycled CDs in and out of the car depending on various things. Mood, what I’ve recently purchased, what I’ve forgotten about but what reminded of via a friend or news story. That being said, some albums end up in the car for months. Some a day or two. Some get thousands of listens, some a cursory 2 or 3 before the final “Eh, I remember now why I haven’t listened to this so much.”

I don’t listen to radio much – ‘cept for the news. I have a hard time suffering the advertisers, djs and station programmers that insist on insulting my intelligence. I do tend to be an ‘album’ guy. I’ll listen to the whole thing through. Then again. And again. I don’t skip tracks. Sometimes for days on end. I figure the artist went through the trouble of arranging it such, it’s the way they meant it to be experienced.

All that said, when I boxed up the CDs this weekend, I forgot about the ones in the car. So, for no particular reason and in no particular order (well, they’re alphabetical by artist, cause I’m anal like that), here’s what wound up ‘left in the car’. Glean from this what you will about my inner psyche:

Blinker the Star – August and Everything After
Brad – Welcome to Discovery Park
Foo Fighters – One by One
Foo Fighters – Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace
Green Day – American Idiot
Hum – You’d Prefer an Astronaut
Matthew Sweet – 100% Fun
Orange 9mm – Driver Not Included
Sam Roberts – Love at the End of the World (I listened to this for at least a month straight after it came out, at LEAST.)
Smashing Pumpkins – Zeitgeist

How I managed to end up without any Afghan Whigs/Twilight Singers, Matthew Good, or Rush iin there is a mystery to me, but I’ve pretty much got their catalogues on instant recall in my head anyway. Giddyup.

Aligned.

December 28th, 2008

It’s raining here on top of the 30 cms of snow and inch or so of ice we had, but it is plus 5 degrees out, so I thought I’d go for a bike ride. My father-in-law looked at me funny as I went out the door. The roads were slush on top of ice with some bare pavement spots in the middle and the rain on all the snow was producing a fog that put visibility in the very low category.

I haven’t been on a bike in a while so it was just a spin for a bit, see where it goes. I went until I got tired – didn’t take long – and after a break for some gasping and swearing at my ill state of fitness I turned around and went back.

I put studded snow tires on the Cross Check and this was the first run with them – wanted to try ‘em out. I’m hoping to be able to do some more winter rides into work this year when I return. The roads will probably be clearer then, but it will be colder probably. I figure if Jill can do it, why can’t I?

Felt much better back at the house. I’ve been meaning to get out for a spin on the new tires if anything just to say I could do it, and well, now I have.

Riding a bike a few miles up the road will never cease to make all the difference in the world, regardless of the weather.

Holiday Update.

December 27th, 2008

Every year (well mostly) I write some sort of brief update that we call the Christmas Letter and send out with our Christmas cards. I’ve been madly in the weeds over the holidays and when I have had free time I’ve decided to spend it doing pretty much nothing, since I’ve got to be off to work again in the new year and wanted to relish the remnants of my leave. I will say that I’ve had a lot of time for introspection and self-examination during my leave/the holidays and I’ve really discovered quite a bit about myself and the way I operate. I feel much better for it, and I’ve got some ideas for the new year. No time to delve right now though, so by way of a copout, here’s this years ‘Christmas Letter’ in it’s entirety. Apologies to those of you who received a hardcopy verison, you can go browse for after-Christmas internet deals now…

Lyn’s been hassling me for 2 weeks to write the Christmas letter. I’ve been wracking my brain to come up with some sort of clever ‘theme’ or presentation and I’ve come up empty, I mean, it’s not like I’m a graphic designer or anything. I started on a few different tangents but wasn’t able to maintain the attention, time or patience (go figure) to see any of them to fruition, so in the end, looks like you’ll get the formulaic rundown of what everybody’s doing. As Lyn says to the kids, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” Onward.

We had a new addition to the roster this year. Olivia Lyne was born on September 12th and is doing well. Initially we had some real problems with colic, but we’ve played musical food sources and played with combinations of breast milk, regular and ‘sensitive’ formula, and – of course, scotch – and we’ve finally found the magic formula. She’s finally pretty much settled in and as a bonus, we now have a reason to keep lots of scotch on hand. On the downside, she’s turned out to be a bit of a scotch snob, preferring only older, really expensive double malts. Women. Go figure. She’s a big baby (was 9 pounds at birth) and is already pushing the limit wearing size 6 month clothes at 3 months. It’s probably a good thing, very Darwinian, as she’ll need the size to stand up to her older brother and make it out alive.

Colin is 18 months old now and dabbles with Darwinian theory every day by testing the premise that humans don’t abandon their offspring. He’s a big kid for his age too, and must be advanced, because even though he’s only a year and a half old, he’s already exhibiting ‘terrible two’ tendencies. His favourite pastimes include leaving toys all over the house, removing ALL the cushions from the couch, testing his cranium resiliency by hurling himself from various pieces of furniture and putting all manner of items into the kitchen trash – with the exception of actual trash. His vocabulary is still pretty limited; mama, dada, tantu (thank you), wassat (what’s that). In addition, if you show him a lion or tiger it will illicit a ‘rawwwrrrrrr!’ In keeping with the Darwin theme, Colin demonstrates his ties to his primate ancestors by refusing to wear socks, shoes or slippers of any kind for a period of more than 7 minutes. Anyone needing evidence of our emergence from apes need not look any further than my perpetually barefooted boy.

Emma started school this year (well, full-time school anyway) and is a full blown Kindergartner now. She enjoys being a ‘big sister’ now that Colin and Olivia are around and particularly likes to ‘read’ books and stories to Olivia. Emma digs horses and she attended a week long horse riding camp and is taking riding lessons once a week. The riding lessons will be ending in January, but then we’re looking to get her into some ice-skating lessons. Emma really enjoys drawing pictures and doing crafts.

Julia has entered the world of second grade and is completely into the horse thing as well – probably more so than Emma. She too attended summer riding camp and has been taking lessons once a week. Any and all toys, books, videos that she’s into either pertain to horses, are about horses or feature an image of a horse. She does some other stuff too. She’s in the chorus at school and recently sang the national anthem at a high school hockey game with them. She still loves to draw and do crafts and also has been getting a kick out of helping around the house more, including doing some cooking.

Lyn continues to ‘hang out at home and raise the kids’. When I meet people and they ask me “Does your wife work?” I always say, “She’s a stay at home mom.” They usually follow with “So she doesn’t work outside the home.” I counter with, “We’ve got four kids, there’s PLENTY of work to be done within the home – I don’t think she feels compelled to seek out MORE work elsewhere. I’m glad she’s there to do it. I got a day job so I could get out.” In spite of all the work that she does, Lyn still finds time once in awhile for her more recreational pursuits including knitting, tending to her African violets and working in the garden and around the yard. She’s recently considered picking up a weaving loom to continue weaving (she took a class when we lived in Virginia) and we still banter about the idea of her starting some kind of business of her own selling crafts. I keep telling her she should make hand-knitted sweaters with a pocket in which to grow an african violet or fresh vegetables and a woven, sewn-on napkin/bib for the dinner table. She doesn’t think they’ll catch on.

I’m still doing my breadwinning thang at Goose Lane Editions (a book publisher and graphic design firm) and I also am still turning out freelance work as well. Somewhere in the back of my head I harbour thoughts of opening my own business and saying ‘damn the man’. We’ll see. In the meantime I continue to find various ways to spend free time – when there is some – hockey, the bike (though I haven’t been on as much as I’d like). I’m trying to teach myself to play guitar – and I’m putting my would be beer money into a jar for a set of drums. It’s been at least 12 years since I owned a kit and having one again would be awesome – I just need to finish gutting and re-doing my entire basement to have room for ‘em. Oh well, I can’t complain I’ve got nothing to do.

Here’s hoping that this letter finds you and yours well this holiday season and best wishes in the New Year!

­­— Kent, Lyn, Julia, Emma, Colin & Olivia

Epiphany.

December 14th, 2008

It may be a day late and a dollar short, but I’ve come to the conclusion that life is about just that – living. It’s not about being pushed around by bosses, government monkeys and people that make their way through life manipulating others. It’s not about having blind faith in the ‘good of your fellow man’ like a chump. Sad but true. It’s not about being owned or controlled by a person or substance. It is Freewill in the very captial ‘F’ sense of the word.

I don’t care anymore what people say I can and can’t do. I don’t care if you think I’m an idiot.

Had the ‘Annual Review’ at work. Hate these things. The dance. Does anyone ever see eye to eye at these things? It really doesn’t make any sense to me, the whole process. They solicit your input, but really when it comes down to brass tacks, one of you is in charge and one isn’t. Who’s agenda and/or ideas is going to get the green light? Demeaning.

I’m tired. Been doing work all night. Nothing like being more tired for the start of the week than you were for the end of the last one. Aren’t weekends supposed to be for rest?

We should be getting our Christmas cards out this week with the obligatory family photo. I’ll post one here maybe but will wait till those actually getting one in the mail do so – can’t let the cat out of the bag early no can we?

Now I’m must giddy with fatigue. Artificially conscious through the magic of coffee.

Been sober a month now. It’s a milestone, but I don’t really feel anything as it passes. Seems there’s too much else going on. Holiday season and all. I’ve done my part though. I’ve spent myself silly. Can’t say I’m not supporting the economy. Sorry for being cynical. Actually, no, I’m not.

Really, I just want to go ride my bike. Ride my bike in the -15C freezing rain temperatures. I feel better out there. People look at me like I have 2 heads. What they don’t get is the kind of headspace that puts you in when you’re out there. When you’re concentrating on just keeping moving so that your digits keep getting blood and don’t freeze. Just trying to keep moving forward and justify you space on the planet in the face of nature. Trying to earn a little respect from the wind, the rain, the grey skies. One thing is for sure, you’re not thinking about what some ass in a car thinks. You aren’t thinking about bills, about your job – or your job review. You aren’t thinking about right or wrong. Just keep the cranks spinning.

Let this be a lesson to you.

December 5th, 2008

This is what happens to your lawn when you try to do the work of a (red and white Ford) tractor (haul a trailer of firewood) with your 2 wheel drive soccer-mom mini-van. It took me 30 mins. to get the van unstuck from 1″ of mud and I had to unhook the trailer and leave it in the middle of the yard. Jury’s out on how I’m going to move it where it needs to go. Much love to my in-laws who gave us the van in the first place, I just had to teach myself that it’s made for hauling pint sized hooligans and not a trailer full of maple through mud.

My brain is in a constant state of turmoil regarding this thing. I dunno why I have it sometimes anymore. It’s just one more thing to do. I’ve been ‘blogging’ for so long – since even before there was ‘blogging’ per se and every now and then I get to the point of now. Like ‘why the hell am I doing this? What’s my compulsion to share this nonsense with total strangers and/or friends alike? The irony is that if you and I were in a room together, I wouldn’t talk to you. I’m not a terribly social person, without the aid of a controlled substance of some kind.

Which brings me to my next point, I’ve quit drinking (I can hear the gasps of disbelief and cries of ’say it ain’t so!’ from my LYH readers). Why? Well I’ve not the energy or time right now to go into a lengthy dissertation and review of my sordid past with alcohol. Suffice to say, I think I’ve drank enough in my first 37 years to fill the rest of my however-many years. Heath reasons. Setting a better example reasons. I was gonna write some long post about how I’ve had good times and bad times with booze and try and jerk some tears from ya’ll, but maybe later. For now, I’m just tired of it. I want to just be honest with myself and the people around me and live life undiluted and raw. At least as raw as a 37 year old father of 4 can – which for the moment is about as exciting as a library book sale. So far I’m 3 weeks without a drop – which is probably the longest I’ve gone in 10-15 years, at least. Next time you run into me, buy me a Coke. Or even better yet, some groceries.

On another note, I just finished reading The Best Game You Can Name by Dave Bidini. An awesome book. So awesome in fact that once I finished it, I promptly sat down and wrote him a letter. His book On A Cold Road is excellent as well. I HIGHLY suggest you check him out.

Harbinger.

November 20th, 2008

I didn’t have any work today and no appointments. I haven’t been on a bike since August. Thought I’d squeak in what might be the last bike ride of the year/season. It was cold today (-10°) but clear, with flurries here and there. 15 mins into the ride I stopped to snap a photo.

Got back on the bike.

Rear tire was flat.

Guess that’s the end of the season.

Well, at least it looks like I’ve fixed the comments.

I’ve been having major issues trying to FTP files to my server – i.e. photos and such to post on the blog here. Most times, I can’t get a connection with Fetch, my FTP client at all. When I do, it takes 15mins for the contents of directories to show up and uploading files is a process measured in hours. I wrote to my good folks at BlueHost for help and after running a Traceroute, they basically said that – the dial-up is just too ridiculously slow – I should contact my ISP. For example, attempting to upload the 196k photo from today took 17 minutes – then it stalled at 191 of 195k, hence you don’t see it here. Perhaps you’re tired of hearing about my dial-up woes. Maybe in the future I’ll highlight these sections somehow and you can skip over them.

In basement news, I’ve got another crack leaking. Permacrete will be back for a third time. And I haven’t even opened up the other side of the basement. I’m wondering if they have one of those punch cards where if you get 9 cracks repaired, the 10th is free.